Sunday, October 31, 2004

OK...I'm getting alot of grief right now for not posting....Sorry, I'm very vunerable right now. Can't think of one single thing to write about.

peace.....I really mean it.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

I'm just your average Space Cadet....

...which explains why I didn't know who Timothy Good was when I was introduced to him this past week at my bar. My friend said, " I would like for you to meet Timothy; who is the foremost authority on UFO's." I kinda laughed & then saw the spaceship pin on his lapel & then promptly regained my composure & shook his hand. After talking to him, getting his brochure (signed especially for me) & then googling him; it is true that he is the foremost authority on UFO's and Alien Presence. Other than asking him how he got into this gig; I didn't ask anything else. Didn't ask him how, where, when...anything like that. He was here to meet with Government officials. I did get that much. I was INTIMIDATED and I don't know why. I'm guessing it's because he KNOWS stuff. Stuff that you & I are not privy to on a regular basis. Freaked me out. Anyway, he was incredibly nice & recommended a couple of his books for me to read.

Now, I am on the fence about the whole UFO thing. My theory is that #1, if UFO's are actually spaceships containing alien life-forms; they are much smarter than we are. Because they know where we are; but we don't know where they are. #2, if they are that much smarter; would they be using what is probably "public transportation" for them to be getting here? Wouldn't they be using the "Beam me up, Scotty" thing?

My wacky week did not end there. Friday night, a paranormal investigator & "ghost hunter" visited the restaurant I work in in hopes of documenting paranormal activity. They hung around during business hours asking all of us about our "experiences" in the building; and then waited for everyone to leave so they could take "readings" with all their equipment. I am also on the fence about the whole paranormal thing. Yes, I had one experience there that 2 other people were witness to (we all saw the same thing) that could not be explained. But I hesitate to parlay that into a "paranormal" experience. I don't know why I can't come to grips with it. We watched ice being lifted & thrown against a wall BY ITSELF. I feel stupid even writing it down. But it did happen. I work in Old Town, Alexandria which is supposed to be the second most haunted area in the nation. All the buildings are 200 + years old; so I guess there may be a ghost or two lingering around if you believe in that sort of thing. I found out today when I got to work that they had "readings" in two different parts of the room where all the stuff seems to happen. I really can't decide how I feel about the subject. I do believe that souls are energy; that energy can be trapped. But souls hanging around f'ing with the living just for fun seems like a far reach to me. I'm totally open to any thoughts ya'll might have about this.


Clemson won, and if my friend shows his face; he will SO be wearing the GRITS cap this next week. Also, pray for Daunte & the Pats!


Saturday, October 23, 2004

6 am Wake-up call?

Well, maybe in a parallel universe. Where everything is the exact opposite of reality.

I'm going to be short. I need to sleep. But, this really creepy guy sat at my bar tonight. Once I got pass his whole "Guido" act (think un-buttoned shirt, BIG gold cross necklace, do-rag, & "Hey, sweet stuff!") I still couldn't find one redeeming quality. And he used every bad line known to man on me the hour he was there. Sadly; it is my job to be polite to everyone; so I was.

Gudio: I gotta be up at 6 in the mornin'. Think you can be there with me to make that happen?

Scarlett: Not at all.

Gudio: Well, think you can give me a wake up call with that voice?

Scarlett: No. But I think I can ARRANGE a wake up call for you; in a sense. It may involve billy clubs.

Guido (unsuspecting or maybe just plain stupid): Cool!


One little glitch in my evening. I do want to thank Jon, Carter, Tommy, Elleni, Rebecca, Cliff, Laney, Ken, Heidi, Meg, Pat, Marty, Chris, Arina, Kelly, Bob, & Betty. It was awesome to see ya'll again! You were all out of control as usual & lined my pockets accordingly. All is right with the world.


Dear Football God:

Yeah, it's me again. Ok, I made a really stupid bet with a friend of mine. If Clemson loses tomorrow to Maryland; I have to wear a Maryland cap for a week. BUT! If Clemson wins; he has to wear my cap that says "GRITS - Girls Raised In The South" for a week. I'm sure you can see where I absolutely have to win this bet. Please show my Tigers the way to victory.

Also, it wouldn't hurt if you could let my sweet Daunte pass for 5 TD's again on Sunday. That would be righteous as I am 5-1.

One last note...can you let the Pats beat the Jets?

I'm guessing that celibacy is what you're going to be asking for in return for all these requests; since sex seems to be foremost on my mind these days. That's OK. I will sacrifice. Seriously!

Worshipping you, I remain....

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Let me just say upfront that I have no great love for either the Red Sox or the Yankees. I'm from South Carolina. Where we have no pro baseball team. We either find love for the Braves or become avid NASCAR fans. I personally went the Braves route. Mainly because I have absolutely no interest in watching cars just go left for hours. I DO have something for Derek Jeter; but I wouldn't call it love. I really don't think that having carnal knowledge of that for even the shortest time would need any classification at all.

Anyway, I've been watching as much of the play-offs as I can; and have totally gotten on the Sox bandwagon. (Please don't hate me Rhino!) And the reason is that I would love to see them win the World Series in my lifetime. It's been so long; I keep thinking of the Sox fans that actually went their entire lifetimes waiting for that to happen. I would just really enjoy watching the celebration.


I have the privilege of knowing Steve Coltrane. He is an incredible comedian here in the DC area and regularly appears at several of the Improvs as well as comedy clubs all over the northeast. He opened for Robert Schimmel this past week at the DC Improv & what a freakin' show! My friend, Greg, & I went to see them last Thurs. & I have to say they both slayed me. (And I'm not slayed easily. The last time involved alot of champagne, tiki torches, and a Tom Petty look-alike. I can't remember who was funnier. "Tom" (the comedian) or US (the audience spraying champagne all over each other.) If you ever get the opportunity to see either or both; take it.


If I ever actually give my number to the weird guy that continues to bring me yellow daisys & then tells me how much I remind him of gladiolas; just shoot me dead on the spot because I have lost all senses. Most importantly; I've lost all ability to distinguish between what is weird & what isn't.


Wednesday, October 20, 2004


Someone linked to me through Google with "spits or swallows". I am SO only talking about kittens, puppies, and rainbows from now on.


Are you asking me or telling me?

Disclaimer: I have close friends from India. I am intrigued by India. I plan to visit there one day. The following is not intended to be a slight to India.

I was having a conversation with my dad about customer service. We were talking about different companies & their approach to customer service. Dad was telling me how he called tech support for a piece of his hardware & was sure the guy was being very helpful; but he couldn't tell because the guy was in India; and he could never tell during the conversation (because of the accent) if the guy was making a statement or asking him a question. YEAH! I lost my hard-drive a couple years ago due to a virus & had to re-format. Took me 2 phone calls (8 hours combined) to do this. Because Dell uses techs in India. And that is one of two foreign accents that I just don't have an ear for (the other being German). When I moved to St. Croix, it took me a year to completely understand what the Cruzans were saying to me. They speak a mix of Creole/Patwa & tend to accent different syllables. It's all basically English; just not the way I was used to hearing it. Anyway, when I was trying to re-format; the conversation basically went:

Dell Tech: I want you to hit "Delete" until I tell you to stop?

Poor Scarlett: You do?

Dell Tech: Yes? You should hit "Delete" until I tell you to stop?

Poor Scarlett: I guess I should. What do you think?

And it went on like that. The accent is such that everything he said sounded like a question. His voice did that upward lilt thing. Every single thing he said. Fortunately; I had alot of time to kill, he was very nice, & eventually I got my computer back up.

I saw a great funk band tonight at Southside in Alexandria. M & R Project. Unfortunately; the game ran long & they only got one set in. It was totally worth the wait. If you're in the Alexandria/Arlington/DC area & get the chance; check them out.

Lastly, I am 5-1!!! I can't believe I won this last weekend by 1.5 fantasy points. Thank you sweet Daunte for the 5 TD passes!! Again!! I'm second place in the league by just 2 points. (I see you Sunshine!)


Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I'm still alive. Been trying to sort things out in my head & my heart (job-search, finances, relationships, friendships). It's been positively exhausting. I plan on actually writing something with substance when I get home from work tonight. But then again; that's been my plan every day this past week. Hope it happens today 'cause I could probably really do with a little venting.


Sunday, October 10, 2004

Be the boss of me....


Given the 10 hours of REALLY enjoying myself yesterday; I needed direction today. I called my friend Carl for breakfast & he came along & promptly became the boss of me for the day. And I guess being the boss of me is a pretty big deal 'cause I asked him what the application process was like & he said it was "positively grueling". And then there's the test. I'm thinking it was the True/False section that he found especially grueling. I mean, the first statement is:" Scarlett is High Maintenance". And then statement #10 is:" Scarlett likes to lip-sync/dance in her room wearing only men's boxers with a toothbrush for a mic". Whereas I actually use a hairbrush. I can see where it would be tough. Thanks Carl for pulling it out!

Well; thanks to my imaginary boyfriend, Daunte, I won this weekend! I'm 4-1, Baby! See girls? You don't have to necessarily have a penis to excel at Fantasy Football.


Congratulations Mila & Tom!!!

My best friend got married today.

I love you Milagro & Tom! Mila, I knew three years ago that you were in love with Tom. Tom, I knew you were in love with Mila. It was so cool to watch you guys come together. Ya'll were best friends for years. And then you fell in love. If I didn't know you; I'd puke over all the sweetness. But I do know you; & I've taken advantage of your open bar.


I love you both. Thank you for being in my life.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Debate, Red Sox, Yankees....

.....all thrilling stuff. But not as exciting as me walking into the Ladies room at about 1:30am & catching a couple in a very compromising position. Ya know; I was wondering what had happened to them. Two half-full drinks & an unpaid tab. All alone on the bar. For a long time. Her jaw must be like the Enegizer Bunny. I'd laugh some more about it; but I'm too freakin' tired. And I have to be having a manicure at 10am for a 2:30 wedding. (Relax...not mine!)


Friday, October 08, 2004

One last thought before I leave for work to start pouring alcohol down the throats of unsuspecting people: I so want to do This. Anyone with me?


I spent HOW MUCH?? Dammmnnnn.....

Compliments of my friend Patty; you too can find out how many steps away you are from the Betty Ford clinic. (Or how many Ferrari's you could have owned by now. However you choose to look at it.) Just go HERE. Tell me your number; I'll tell you mine.


Thursday, October 07, 2004

Encounters I'm Completely Over With

AKA: Stupid People Suck

***Poor Scarlett: "Would you like to see a menu?"

Idiot: "Well, I'm meeting my wife's nephew who's visiting from North Dakota & I'm not sure if he's already eaten & I'm also thinking he may be a vegetarian which means we may not be eating here; but I'm not sure."

Poor Scarlett: (thinking) It's a simple yes/no question.
(saying) " So, would you like to see a menu?"


***Idiot: "What do you have for beer?"

Poor Scarlett: "House, Lite, Sam Adams."

Idiot: "Just give me a Harp's."

Poor Scarlett: "We only have the beers I mentioned. House, Lite, Sam Adams."

Idiot: " Do you have Amstel?"

Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Why Yes!! I do!! But, unfortunately; I save it for SPECIAL people. And I'm thinking you just don't qualify.
(saying) "No, we just have the beers that I mentioned. House, Lite, Sam


***Idiot: "Nurse, Nurse! I need another beer! I need my medicine."

Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Oh My God
(saying) "I'll be with you in a few minutes. Just let me adjust my cap!" (fake laugh)


****Idiot: "Can you make a martini? And don't lie to me."

Poor Scarlett: " I've been making them for over 20 years. People like my martinis. I'm a martini drinker myself."

Idiot: "This is what I want. Rail vodka with no vermouth shaken for 1.2 minutes in a glass that's been chilled for 43 seconds with 1.6 olives. And if it's not right; I'm sending it back!"

Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Fuck you
(saying) "Fuck you!"

Ya know.....I'm so close to that point. Fortunately; I'm only cursed maybe 10% of the time with people that just don't listen; but it's enough for me after all these years to actually feel the hair go up on the back of my neck. And these are just a few examples of things that drive me crazy about being a bartender. Just had a weird night tonight. I have to just remind myself that 90% of the time; people are not stupid. But I'm really wishing the 10% would kinda space themselves out & not show up all in the same night. Hey! Maybe it's a club I don't know about. Maybe this is their meeting place once a month! Maybe I'm their President! Hmmmm. But if that were the case; you'd think they'd let me know so I could ask them about my Veto power. I could say, "Veto! Try again!" That would be cool.

Suffice it to say; I am in dire need of intelligent conversation right now. Since I met my 10% stupidity quota tonight; I am hoping for discussing the significance of Pi as opposed to how to get gum out of hamster hair tomorrow night. Please take note. Don't make me spray you with my soda gun.


Saturday, October 02, 2004

Happy Birthday, Nancy!

Today was my girlfriend, Nancy's, 30th birthday! Her party was at Bistro Europa in Old Town. Awesome time!!! Joe Chiocca band was playing & they are always incredible. Lead singer, Kim, has a voice that sounds like a cross between Janis Joplin & that chick from the Cranberries if you can imagine that. Fortunately; tonight was my early night out at work & I was able to get there by 10:30. Nancy had made all us girls pearl necklaces to wear. Ummm, thanks Nance! Kinda novel getting a " pearl necklace" from a girl; but, ya know; a gift is a gift. Our group is pretty large, so we're usually socializing in smaller packs; so it was nice to have mostly everyone in one place at the same time. Bistro Europa is a really cool hangout. By early evening, the downstairs is a top-notch restaurant. After 10, upstairs is a night club. It has 4 different areas (band/dance, bar, couch, pool) all separated by half walls & railings so it all kinda flows to make you feel like each area is intimate, but you always feel like you're all in the same space. Know what I mean? Anyway, it was a great time in that everyone got happy, but not stupid-happy. Nothing got broken. Lot's of good-natured flashing going on; which is pretty common at these gatherings. And I was thinking about that tonight (it being common) when my friend John said, "Bobbi just flashed me...again. And come to think of it; I've seen her boobs so many times at parties; it's kinda not even exciting anymore." And I was a good girl in that I came home at 2 and didn't venture out to any of the after-parties. I mean, I have to work at 5p tomorrow. Need my sleep. All 12 hours of it.

My Tigers are on a bye tomorrow. Hopefully they will take this time to reflect on their past mistakes so that they can beat the chit out of #12 Virginia next week. Hey!! It could happen!! I know it hasn't looked like it so far, but Tigers are vicious animals!! Ferocious even!! Right Cecil?

I'm off to bed. And Carl, thanx for the beers tonight. Me + You + various other people + Sunday + Football x beer = Halo on X-Box at 2am probably? I want to be the gunner.


Friday, October 01, 2004

I love my Braves, but.... friend, Rhino, has a very compelling argument. I personally DO think that football should be considered the national past time. Come on; we couldn't even send a baseball team to the Olympics! And thank you darlin' for gracing my pages!!! (I condone all your degenerate thoughts!)

Rhino says:

***It seems our lovely and talented host has demand that I write a post for her blog. This being said, who am I to refuse such a request from a lovely lady? I figured since it is the season I would write about football and let you all discuss amongst yourselves the legitimacy of my writings. I am sure Ms. Scarlet will post a disclaimer that my views do not reflect hers or that she condones such degenerate thoughts such as my own.

Over the last few weeks I have noticed a trend around the country. I believe it has actually been going on now for quite sometime and should be officially noted, so as John Fitzgerald Kennedy said, "If not me, who, if not now, when?"

The trend I am talking about is the shift of the national past time from Baseball to Football. I believe football has been the undisputed champ now for quite sometime, but never really had the transfer of title, only of power. You may think this is a brash and bold statement here people, but I say I am only speaking the truth and have evidence to support my ramblings.

America is a wide collection of various people or various backgrounds and who have various tastes. That being said, football has a lot to offer every man, woman, and child. The NFL isn't the same every year with only a handful of teams repetitively dominating the landscape. The NFL changes the schedule to equal out and give balance to the previous years winners and losers, making sure every team has an opportunity to make improvements. Where in the world is fairness and opportunity not thrown out more by the citizenry of a country than here in good old USA?

The ability for self improvement and the ability for any team to win on a given day or to get to the playoffs or the Super Bowl makes Americans turn the TV on to football time and time again. You think I am crazy? 2 years ago Monday Night Football had one of it's worst ratings ever and it still beat out a World Series game 5 by over 5 points-which is huge in TV land. Football is a fast paced, hard hitting game, which demands team work. Unlike
baseball, one guy can't win you a game. The QB can't do it alone, although Mike Vick is pretty close, neither can a Linebacker, Receiver, DB, or any other position. Now, I know some of you all say the kicker, well shit, does he not have 9 guys blocking and a guy holding the ball for him? Any of those
guys screw up, well you have seen what happens when one person loses focus. Americans like team work, most of us do it every day at the office, plant, or wherever we go for a couple of hours.

Americans like the fact that those guys move on the fly and don't have a chance to take their sweet time. In football a game can be won or lost in a play going start to finish in less than 10 seconds. It takes a batter over 10 seconds to get ready once he is in the box at the plate. Baseball is slow paced, which is not a bad thing, but who gets to just sit around at work and
do nothing besides politicians, which if you notice throw the first ball out at baseball games. You usually have ex players or someone who busted ass do a coin toss at the start of a football game. There is also more wear and tear in football, these guys get knocked around and get right back up, like most of us. Football players also seem more like normal people. Not saying
they don't make money, but not even close to the huge contracts the baseball guys have. I don't think the top 3 guys in football combined make what A-Rod did on his contract, I may be wrong, but not by much. Also, the baseball guys like to walk around like perfect people. Football players, please, to be a great one, you have to have made mistakes and owned up to them Farve,
LT, Jim Brown, and so on, have all screwed up, but came out and took their punishments like men and got even more fans for it.

Football is America's game and America's past time. Baseball just needs to move out of the way. Sorry, but everything has a time and a purpose, baseball as the National Sport of the US is over.

"Honesty is the best policy"'s Bitch-about-a-quote-Thursday. I know I said last Thursday I was going to bitch about a quote every week; but I really didn't intend to. But in thinking about it; I think I can come across enough stuff every week to make it happen.

Case in point: There is a waitress where I work that is here for a short time from Bulgaria. Every summer for the last 4 years we have had the same 2 girls work here from Bulgaria on their breaks from college. This particular girl is a friend of theirs. So; us girls have a dressing room to change into our uniforms. I wear black/white/bowtie since I am a bartender. Waitress's wear blue polo's w/ black shorts. You can't tell how big/small I am since I'm buttoned up to my neck; but you can tell how big/small the waitress's are. This particular girl is very well-endowed & wears no bra. The first day she's working there; she stands away from me & asks me how she looks. I told her she looked great except for the fact that she has no bra on & you can see her nipples through her shirt. She looked very embarrassed & explained to me how a bra was considered a "luxury" in her household & she hadn't had the time or the means to buy one since she had come to the US. It's not the first time I've had evidence that "Honesty is the best policy" is not necessarily true; but it was the first time I thought it but then felt like a complete idiot. I'm a spoiled middle-class American girl. Who thinks of a bra as a necessity & not a luxury (because I can afford one). And, in case you're wondering, she had a sponsor to come here. She was a stand-out in her class & some people got together to send her here for a couple months; & then I insulted her. And I feel terrible about it.

And that's my quote-bitch for today. And hopefully the ones I talk about in the future won't put me in such a bad light.

On a lighter note: Culpepper is on a bye this w'end. I'm doomed. That's going to be my redemption, I guess. Hopefully that is all it will be & I won't step in front of that proverbial bus I'm always talking about. Although, it's probably what I deserve.


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