Saturday, May 20, 2006

I'm Absolutely Stumped

I give up. I cannot "get" Zippy The Pinhead. Ya know; the comic strip. I've been reading it in the Washington Post for, like, two years. It totally escapes me. Is it supposed to be funny in a clever sort of way? Clever in an obtuse sort of way? Obtuse in an "I'm living in a redwood trying to save the forest while smoking alot of dope" sort of way?

Any thoughts are welcome.


Monday, May 08, 2006

So anyway.....

I'm a slackass. I know I am. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I don't. It's like I depend on you (my 2, maybe 3, readers) to be there when I need you to be. When I feel like I have something to say.

I feel really bad about it. Really.

Anyway, New Guy kicked me to the curb. In a very nice way.


First Date: We decide to meet at Vermillion; which is my favorite restaurant. (For right now.) He's driving & I'm walking since I live just 2 blocks down. I'm wearing what I consider First Date Attire. A very simple sleeveless top (black & gold) and nice black slacks. Very cute 1 inch heel black pumps & short leather jacket round out the look. I meet him at the bar & he is wearing (make my heart stop!) a suit & tie. Now, I am all about the "Suit & Tie" look. I think it screams "I am really looking forward to our evening together & I totally respect you for the righteous woman that you are!"

Most men don't dress for dates anymore. It seems like they think the blue shirt/khaki pants thing is a uniform. Good for every date. Suit & Tie is so much more respectful.

It doesn't matter that he wears a suit & tie to work. I know that he got off work about 3 hours before our date. So he showered up & then decided to put a suit on again. For me. Very Cool.

We get a table & decide that we both want wine. We'll get a bottle to share. He makes a show of looking at the wine list & then turns it over to me. "You're the expert!", he says.

(Did I mention before that he is in Law Enforcement? The Federal kind. Guns, Badges, Tinted-Window Agent Cars with tiny antennas everywhere. He'd have to kill me on a moments notice. All very sinister & Extra Very Cool. All this stuff is incredibly sexy to me, but; alas. He doesn't know wine. Could be a Deal-Breaker.)

I pick a Pinot Noir I haven't had the pleasure of trying before. "Jibe". Nice Pinot; not too crazy expensive. Good dinner wine for a first date.

I pick one of the specials (which I always do there because they are always something awesome. Broiled Halibut with a lemon grass sauce with lentils & soybeans was my pick). He picks the same thing; which I find odd. Maybe it's just me; but I think it's a cop-out to say, "And I'll take the same". We were in a restaurant whose Chef is nationally recognized. I wanted to tell him to shop around a little; but got too caught up in how handsome he looked in the suit & tie drinking the pinot.

I thought the dinner conversation was great. We never had any of those weird how-can-I-fill-the-gap? moments. He taught me the rules to Craps. So if I ever find myself in Vegas with too much extra money; I will know what to do. (I'm from SC. I know dick about gambling. I won 15$ playing Black Jack in Santo Domingo one time & quit. Didn't want to push my luck).

We talked about everything. And nothing in particular. I was very excited about our future together. (Which translates into "Next Two Weeks" in Miss Scarlett language. I'm not a long-term thinker.)

(At this point; I have to say that I was very proud of myself. I tend to be a little clumsy at times in this type of situation. Actually, all 5'7" 125 lbs of me can be a fucking 2,000 lb. ox in a china shop in this type of situation. I can't believe I got through putting a fork to my mouth, wine to my lips, & heels to the floor when I went to the ladies room & didn't spill, dribble, or slip. Amazing.)

And then I broke my second rule of dating. My first being: Never accept a date from a guy you meet at your bar. The second is: Never take a first date to the place you hang out.


I am a bitch. I started writing this & now I am too tired to finish; but I promise I will.


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