Sunday, February 26, 2006

The Lonely Brain Cell

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by
mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around
nervously because it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she
cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell
started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice,


Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away..............

"We're down here ..."


I would like to thank my friend Linda for this complete & unsolicited insight. Really. I will take it under advisement. Seriously. I mean it.


I know I'm really late to the game on this issue; but I downloaded the Paris Hilton Sex Tape last night. I was on Limewire, and there it was. I heard all about it all along with the rest of you and never really cared; but there it was. I have to say that I wasn't that impressed. By her technique. If anything; it made me feel better about myself. And my technique.

I'm thinkin' he wasn't doin' it for the nooky.



Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Seriously; I hate Valentine's Day. This time last year, I was wondering why my boyfriend had not called me yet. Sure...he was on a business trip to Norfolk. How busy could he be?? The next day he claimed insane "busy-ness" because there was some "Gas Mask" issue within the "Government". I was very stupid then. By May I had found out he had had an "I live with a girl in Maryland & I was focusing all my Valentine's energy towards her" issue. I still find it hard to believe that I was so fucking stupid.

I also can't believe that it's still sort of affecting me. I decided then that I was going to give myself a year to start dating again. I just didn't think it was fair to myself or anyone else to try to start a new relationship. That doesn't mean that I haven't had "friends". Well, just the one friend. But he knows what the deal is.


Anyway, thanks to all of you that brought me candy & flowers today. I will be nicer to you when you sit at my bar. Really! I mean it!


My new favorite bumper sticker:

"Come to the Dark Side: We Have Cookies"



Monday, February 06, 2006

7 months

Seven months until Football Season. I miss it already.

Ok....I was pulling for the Seahawks. For multiple reasons. First time at the Super Bowl. Couple of players are from Clemson. I had a couple players on my Fantasy team. I'll pull for anyone against the Steelers. It's a deep-seeded dislike that I really can't explain.

The 4-man play that resulted in a touchdown for the Steelers was way cool. I have to give them that. I actually have to give them the whole game because seahawks didn't even show.

March Madness is my next destination......


Please think of me around Noon tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be miserable from lack of sleep.

Thanking you in advance,
Miss Scarlett

Sunday, February 05, 2006


I'm Scarlett, & you're not!

Sorry...I've been reading "Live From New York". Deep; thought-provoking stuff. Seriously. Chevy Chase may be my life-long hero.

So..I'm not a smoker. It's not a habit. I smoke when I drink. I smoke, maybe, twice a week. Ya know,...when I drink.

Anyway, it's kinda cold here. I want to go out on the deck and smoke. I grab a jacket out of the coat closet. The one out of maybe 20? It amazes me everyday how many freakin' coats there are in my coat closet. Two of them are mine. The one for cold weather & the one for really cold weather.

Anyway, I get the jacket for left-handed people. Meaning, you have to have two left hands to pull the fucking zipper up. Do I have a left-handed roommate & I don't know it? I'm already stressed that I'm smoking.....And there's an obstacle course I have to get through? Am I still in America? Home of the Free(internet)? Home of the Brave(car-washer)?


Ya know, I've been away for about a month. I've been dealing with stuff &, well, reflecting. On Life and such.


Kiss Me; you fool.


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