The Life of a Southern Girl

It's just something I'm thinking about. A class that people are required to take before they are allowed to book a flight. The class I'm thinking about would only cover how you should act in an airport.

1) Check in with the Sky Cap: Whenever possible; check in curbside. You are not getting any extra service by going to the counter & checking in. Your bags are being dropped on the same belt. Trust me. I walk through the bowels of baggage every day and see the belts. Some people want to check their bags at the counter because they feel that they have to tip Sky Cap & if they don't; their bags won't get to where they are going. Sky Caps are NOT going to "lose" your bags if you don't tip them! They don't have any say in the matter! Your bags are going on the same belt they would if you checked at the counter. It is nice to tip the Sky Caps, because, frankly, they don't make alot of money. Counter service is only good for people that have special request (i.e..oversized baggage, multiple baggage above & beyond, etc...)

2) Before you head to security, make sure you have your boarding pass! Whether it be from the airlines kiosk or from the counter. You can't get through security without it. Before you get in line; have your ID (driver's license, military id, passport, walking id) & boarding pass in hand. All the TSA agent that greets you has to do all day is look at ID's and they take it very seriously.

*Don't try to joke with the TSA guy because he will NOT think you're funny.

3) Getting through security can be a breeze if you do it right. When in doubt; take it off! There is nothing worse than being sent back because you forgot the change in your pocket. 9 times out of 10, the person behind you is prepared & wondering why the hell you're not! (Actually, before you even go to the airport; forgo the extra jewelry. This isn't a fashion show!) Wear shoes that are easy to slip off. ....

This is BETA testing.....

Dear Crazy Person,
I know life is hard. I know it sucks when things don't go your way. I, myself, have suffered when the line at the bank doesn't move quickly enough. When I have to listen to countless automated options on the phone when all I'm trying to do is find out WHAT TIME ARE YOU COMING TO FIX MY CABLE; I feel your pain. These things are day-to-day shit that everyone in the world has to deal with. Please don't take out your frustrations by claiming that there is a bomb on a plane. The trickle down is such that you can't even imagine. You (crazy bitch in Ohio) directly affected me. I wish I knew someone with Dayton PD that I could convince to punch you in the face. (Disclaimer: I am just venting & do not wish any ill will towards the psycho-bitch that ruined my day....I hope she gets the help that she needs.)

peace

Geno Auriemma.....Coach of UConn Women's Basketball Team. Hands down probably the best coach of college women's basketball. He stood in the service area & turned down my offer of a bar seat. I served him a Kettle & tonic & watched him play with his Blackberry. I didn't know who he was until my manager walked up, saw him, & said, "Dude, I'm sorry about that game." (refering to the game that broke their winning streak). Auriemma replied, "It's all part of the game." My manager later told me that he felt like an idiot that he was so star-struck; that's all he could come up with.

Kind of a Piece de Resistance. I have seen Hillary on the concourse. I have seen Romney on the concourse. On this particular day, they ran into each other at the end of my bar. And it was the day after Romney had announced he was running for President. Hillary only had 4 security (she's usually surrounded by many more) and was rushing to catch a flight. Romney & his wife had just landed & were leaving. They stopped & talked for about 10 minutes. Everyone was very respectful & didn't try to approach them. Although, they did create a circle around them taking pics. Security didn't have to step in. They were laughing with each other & seemed to be having a great time.

Who DOESN'T love Al Roker?? I didn't get to wait on him but saw him having a great time posing for pics & signing autographs. Half my bar cleared to run out to speak to him & he appeared to be having a really good time.

Ivanka Trump...daughter of Donald. I didn't recognize her until someone told me who she was. I don't watch "The Apprentice". I can't stand Donald Trump & want to stick something sharp in my eye every time I see him. When he toyed with the idea of running for President; I decided then & there that I would move to another country if it ever actually happened that he DID become President. Anyway, she took a table at the far end of the restaurant, ordered an ice tea, and furiously typed on her lap top. I have to say that she IS a beautiful woman. She was dressed down with her hair in a ponytail but still caught my attention by just how naturally beautiful she is. Noone approached her in the restaurant, but she was surrounded as soon as she stepped out into the concourse. She graciously posed for pictures & signed autographs.

I have definitely been slacking on reporting my sightings & am going to try to catch up. Keep in mind that I see very little as I rarely recognize someone unless someone points them out to me. Celebrities & "wanna-be" celebrities rarely wear a "Hello! My name is ___" tag. So...Doris Goodwin. She sat at my bar & was lovely. She was mostly on her cell trying to help someone else find their cell in her house. I love her because she was the first female journalist to enter the Red Sox locker room. She was an intern for Johnson during his administration & helped him draft his memoirs years later. She taught at Harvard. She won a Pulitzer & the Lincoln Prize. She was caught up in a plagiarism to-do that I really don't know that much about.