Monday, May 31, 2004

Rolling Thunder!!!!!

God, I missed you guys!!!!

I love working Memorial weekend. It means that I get to see some of my favorite people that seek me out when they come to this town for this GREAT event. Every year for six years, I've had the pleasure of hosting INCREDIBLE men & women from all over the nation that come to DC once a year for Rolling Thunder. If you're not familiar, I'll put it in a nutshell (although, it's so much more). These people ride their motorcycles through DC every year (500,000 + projected for this year) to bring awareness to POW's & MIA's. Also for veteran's rights.
I have to say that it is the happiest time of the year for me. There are always protests, marches, sit-ins, in DC, but this is the one thing that I totally wrap my heart around. It's one of the few cause's that I can trully believe in. I wish that I was more prolific in my writing to convey what this time means to me.

My favorite group of guys that check in with me this Memorial weekend: They always start in San Diego on the Sunday before. They ride all week til they get to DC on the Saturday before Memorial Day. They wait until 5:30 then they burst into my bar yelling "Mistress Scarlett!! We are back again!!" I have several groups of people that come to see me this time every year, but these guys are my favorites! (YO! COOTCH! who loves ya baby!!!) They were all in the trenches together during Viet Nam. I mean, they weren't officers...they were literally in the trenches. I can't even imagine what these guys went through, but if you could see them now. And it's like that with everyone here. The emotion is so thick; I just don't have any words.

Suffice it to say, this is just another time in my life when I count my lucky stars. I am incredibly lucky to know these people. Obviously because of what they've been through, but also because these are the people that make me put my life in perspective. Our problems are so small when you put them up against people that have suffered the crazy, stupid indignities that we can't even imagine. I feel lame because I can't come up with the words to describe how much I love these people.

Thank you Cootch, Madman Dave, Mike, Scary, Love, Rick, & Lost Boy....You guys always make me feel my heart.:)

Saturday, May 29, 2004

I'm sorry, sir. Were you speaking to me?

Because I'm just a little distracted right now.

Let me just say that I am one of those people that seem incredibly self-assured on the outside. I mean, I know this because people tell me all the time. But, truth be known, I actually DO care what other people think about me. That's why it drives me crazy when I think someone doesn't like me. I don't get the feeling often, but when I do, I gnaw on it, turn it around, gnaw some more, & then put it on a shelf to gnaw on later (kinda like the dog-with-a-bone thing). I found out tonight that my boss does not like me. I've had the feeling for a few months that something was up. It was a feeling I wasn't used to, so I had to do the whole "gnawing" thing. Maybe I've just been lucky, or blissfully ignorant, but I think that every person I've worked for has liked me. Given the nature of my job (I'm a bartender), pretty much, if your boss doesn't like you, he/she finds a reason to fire you. I've never been fired from a job. And I've worked in some pretty cool, high-volume places where, if I slipped JUST A LITTLE I would have been fired. So, with that said, I know it's not how I do my job that has made her not my #1 fan.

A little history is in order, I guess. I work in a long established restaurant in a high dollar area. Very tough to get a bartender job here (in the restaurant or the area. People never leave the job once they have it). The positions are pretty much WILLED to the person taking over. I was lucky. Right place, right time. Being somewhat cute with all this southern hospitality oozing out of me didn't hurt. The owner died & left said restaurant to his general manager (who was the BEST person I ever worked for). That was 6 years ago. My general manager passed away this past January & the "widow" of the original owner took over. She was never involved in the restaurant before then. And had absolutely no restaurant experience anyway. Now she is out to prove herself. Once she got her footing, I started to get the feeling she didn't like me. I know this sounds completely paranoid, but you have to understand that where I work, the last thing you want to feel is that the boss doesn't like you. Anyway, it was just in the way she talked to me, stalked my bar to make sure I wasn't stealing (even the best bartenders suffer this disgrace. All restaurant owners think you're stealing from them) or the way she would make snide comments to me everytime I "dropped" a "g" or said "fixin to" (As in "I'm fixin to leave"). Long story, short. FINALLY (is what you're thinking!). I had enough & asked a trusted manager WTF is going on???! He told me straight out that she just DID NOT LIKE ME & was looking for a way to fire me. I was floored to actually hear the words. I was shocked, I was insulted, I was planning the "GREAT REVENGE" all in my head at the same time. I guess if was something similar to seeing your life flash before your eyes right before you die. Now I'm in a quandary: Do I just ride it out because I'm leaving end of year to get back to programming, or do I just f'ing quit with no notice & leave the bitch hanging for a bartender of my caliber? I'm not being sassy here. I KNOW I'm a great bartender. I don't excel in many things in my life. I can't cook; actually, I'm not domestic at all. I have someone come in & clean my house every two weeks. I don't drive very well. I've worn the same work pants two days in a row because I forgot to do laundry. BUT, I AM A GREAT BARTENDER!!! I make the meanest martini this side of the proverbial Mississippi & I can talk bullshit to people 'til the cows come home. My tips tell me what a good bartender I am.

Ya know what? I just can't stress on this anymore tonight. I'm putting it on the shelf and I will gnaw again tomorrow. I'm going to figure this out, dammit!!! I'm going to figure out why this bitch does not like me!!! And then I'll arrange a meeting with her so that I will end up crying because that's what this slick bitch does when faced with confrontation. How sad is that??

Anyway....thanks for letting me share.

"There she was just a walkin' down the street. Singin' DO WAH DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DO"

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Uma just plain rocks!

Did Kill Bill just make you want to take sword fighting lessons?

I just saw "Kill Bill 2" AGAIN. Let me just say up front that I am a complete movie sucker. I'm one of those people that completely gets into a movie I'm enjoying. So much so that I tend to forget that these people are just actors. I'm terrified that if I ever actually meet Uma Thurman, I might ask her to kick someones ass for me because I like thinking that she actually IS code name "Black Mamba" in real life. Do you think she would be flattered or just scared that I'm some f'ed up groupie with a hard-on for sword-swinging girls? Heh! I could get my first restraining order!

Anyway, it's kinda bad, really. I mean, I don't think I could ever take Jason Alexander seriously in any other sitcom or movie 'cause to me, he's that annoying George Castanza. I want to run into him just so I can slap him & say "For christ's sake!! Spend a buck!!! Get a job!!" Geezzzzzzzzze

Well, I'm exhausted, but wanted to post something. I had 5 young Lithuanian guys at my bar tonight quizzing me on "American" things. They were absolutely adorable & definitely fell for my southern charm. I just love having cute european boys with blond hair/blue eyes hanging on my every word. That's what I'm thinking 'til one of them asked me if I'd always had this accent. Guess they were actually just staring at me 'cause they couldn't figure out where the hell I was from. Then I had to explain the whole southern drawl thing which means I just ended up trying to explain that I'm not really stupid. I really AM aware that I enunciate EVERY SINGLE SYLLABLE. At the same time, I had 3 men from Azerbaijan (which used to be part of the Soviet Union I now know thanks to Their claim to my bar fame was completely depleting my stock of "Grey Goose" vodka. 14 shots between them. Also 3 snifters of cognac. On top of 12 beers. And they still seemed sober. Amazing. I have to give them kudo's for the tip, though. They were border-line rude to me all evening, whipped out the "Diplomat" card for their tax-exempt discount, but then tipped me 20% on the original amount. Very cool, in my book.

Ya'll come back, now...ya hear??

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

There is beach sand in the trunk of my car!

Which means that summer is officially here for me!

I'd like to start off by thanking bartender Bill & bartendress L.A. at the Summerhouse in Rehoboth for hosting the awesome time we had Sunday night! I would also like to thank the incredible band that was playing; but, i'm ashamed to say, the name escapes me. I knew it at the time, but the Grand Marnier with beer backs seems to have made it a little fuzzy. My friend, G, brought one of their cds back with her, so I will make a point to find out & post it here.

Needless to say, a good time was had by all. There was sun, dancing, champagne, obligatory after-hours-party-on-the-front-porch, reading of non-thought-provoking magazines on the beach, & of course, no beach trip is complete without seeing two seagulls screwing on a lamp post. When you talk about sex in dangerous places; us humans have nothing on the seagulls. Just watching the female try to keep her balance made my back hurt. Kudo's to you, Jessica Livingston Seagull!! And speaking of sex: I don't even know if anyone had any. You see, I am in a "mourning period", having been dumped recently. I think that I am subconsciously turning a blind eye to activities I'm not engaging in for the time being. Maybe I'm subconsciously jaded. Hmmm, I think I may be onto something. Do you think you can just "subconsciously" suffer from a break up without the whole crying, lump-in-your-chest, can't-listen-to-the-songs-on-the-radio thing? (I promise not to do the annoying hyphen thing ALL the time!) I think that's what I'm doing, cause I haven't really freaked out yet. And it's been three weeks. I'm in denial, I think. I'm in denial that a man does not want to be with a woman that MAKES THE BEST GD MARTINI ON THE EAST COAST!! I'm not really that shallow. I also think he should stay with me because I'm cute & I don't pick my nose in public. That's not shallow, is it? IS IT????

Well, enough of that. I had a GREAT time at the beach, & now I am back at my bar making the best martini. Thank you H for inviting me & I promise to weed out all the un-flattering pics of you (please do the same for me, hun) before I show them to anyone! So there you have it... Tune in.....

ps to Anonymous...I'm not quite ready to divulge that info:)

Saturday, May 15, 2004

I'm just a girl bartender

Which makes me a bartendress, barmaid, bar slut, wench...

However you decide to address your female bartender, just remember: She is the one dispensing your alcohol & you should show her lots of respect. Alot of people just don't get that. It continues to amaze me that some people find it funny to be ______ to their female bartender. (rude, offensive, obnoxious, etc) just because they're female. What is it with the "man-on-a-business-trip" that compels him to (Hour 1) show me pics of his wife & kids back home, (Hour 2) point out my chest to his fellow "men-on-a-business-trip" while loudly commenting on my bra size, and then (Hour 3) slip me a cocktail napkin with his hotel name & room number on it when he's leaving? Should I just start cutting off (refuse to serve) "man-on-a-business-trip" after the first hour 'cause he doesn't know how to act once he leaves the confines of his home state? (That's ok BIG MAN 'cause now you're just getting a plain coke with the straw laced with rum & you're paying for the whole drink!! HAH That's QUEEN Scarlett to you & don't you forget it!) And there you have it. Tune in....

ps...I am off to the beach for 4 days with several of my fellow female bartenders...I think I may just sexually harass a male bartender just for the fun of it. (Of course, I will tip him outrageously!) Cause that's what us slick bitches do! Harass you then throw money at you!

Thursday, May 13, 2004

I'm just a girl

I'm just a SOUTHERN girl....

Ahhh, now it has a whole new meaning. I know what you're thinking. Well, let me dispel all the rumors. I'm from the deep south, but have managed to find my way just a hair's breath away from the Mason-Dixon line. Washington, DC no less. I know you're asking yourself; "How did this little girl from Charleston, SC ever find her way up to the BIG city?" Well, let me tell you, the road was LONG & treacherous. Just full of monsters that had never even HEARD of chittlins!! (Monsters don't eat pig guts; just so you know) But, I kicked their asses just cause that's the kinda slick bitch I am. Then i made them eat chittlins! (all a metaphor) Don't anyone call PETA on me. Disclaimer: I did not actually kick monster ass & make them eat chittlins! So there you have it. Tune in....

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