Saturday, May 29, 2004

I'm sorry, sir. Were you speaking to me?

Because I'm just a little distracted right now.

Let me just say that I am one of those people that seem incredibly self-assured on the outside. I mean, I know this because people tell me all the time. But, truth be known, I actually DO care what other people think about me. That's why it drives me crazy when I think someone doesn't like me. I don't get the feeling often, but when I do, I gnaw on it, turn it around, gnaw some more, & then put it on a shelf to gnaw on later (kinda like the dog-with-a-bone thing). I found out tonight that my boss does not like me. I've had the feeling for a few months that something was up. It was a feeling I wasn't used to, so I had to do the whole "gnawing" thing. Maybe I've just been lucky, or blissfully ignorant, but I think that every person I've worked for has liked me. Given the nature of my job (I'm a bartender), pretty much, if your boss doesn't like you, he/she finds a reason to fire you. I've never been fired from a job. And I've worked in some pretty cool, high-volume places where, if I slipped JUST A LITTLE I would have been fired. So, with that said, I know it's not how I do my job that has made her not my #1 fan.

A little history is in order, I guess. I work in a long established restaurant in a high dollar area. Very tough to get a bartender job here (in the restaurant or the area. People never leave the job once they have it). The positions are pretty much WILLED to the person taking over. I was lucky. Right place, right time. Being somewhat cute with all this southern hospitality oozing out of me didn't hurt. The owner died & left said restaurant to his general manager (who was the BEST person I ever worked for). That was 6 years ago. My general manager passed away this past January & the "widow" of the original owner took over. She was never involved in the restaurant before then. And had absolutely no restaurant experience anyway. Now she is out to prove herself. Once she got her footing, I started to get the feeling she didn't like me. I know this sounds completely paranoid, but you have to understand that where I work, the last thing you want to feel is that the boss doesn't like you. Anyway, it was just in the way she talked to me, stalked my bar to make sure I wasn't stealing (even the best bartenders suffer this disgrace. All restaurant owners think you're stealing from them) or the way she would make snide comments to me everytime I "dropped" a "g" or said "fixin to" (As in "I'm fixin to leave"). Long story, short. FINALLY (is what you're thinking!). I had enough & asked a trusted manager WTF is going on???! He told me straight out that she just DID NOT LIKE ME & was looking for a way to fire me. I was floored to actually hear the words. I was shocked, I was insulted, I was planning the "GREAT REVENGE" all in my head at the same time. I guess if was something similar to seeing your life flash before your eyes right before you die. Now I'm in a quandary: Do I just ride it out because I'm leaving end of year to get back to programming, or do I just f'ing quit with no notice & leave the bitch hanging for a bartender of my caliber? I'm not being sassy here. I KNOW I'm a great bartender. I don't excel in many things in my life. I can't cook; actually, I'm not domestic at all. I have someone come in & clean my house every two weeks. I don't drive very well. I've worn the same work pants two days in a row because I forgot to do laundry. BUT, I AM A GREAT BARTENDER!!! I make the meanest martini this side of the proverbial Mississippi & I can talk bullshit to people 'til the cows come home. My tips tell me what a good bartender I am.

Ya know what? I just can't stress on this anymore tonight. I'm putting it on the shelf and I will gnaw again tomorrow. I'm going to figure this out, dammit!!! I'm going to figure out why this bitch does not like me!!! And then I'll arrange a meeting with her so that I will end up crying because that's what this slick bitch does when faced with confrontation. How sad is that??

Anyway....thanks for letting me share.

"There she was just a walkin' down the street. Singin' DO WAH DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DO"


Comments:
Ooo... next time I'm in DC I know who's making me my first martini.. ;-) Chin up sister... it get's better.

KJB
 
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