Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I've become one of those people.

Those people I've always pitied. The ones that get out of a relationship & swear they will never have another one because, "I just can't get hurt again!".

I've always grieved an appropriate amount of time (a month or three) & then moved on. The grieving time has usually been comparable to the amount of time we had been together. One year = 1 month; and so on and so forth. Altogether, They say (and I still want to be President of THEY) it takes half the time you were together to get over it. I've never found that to be true; personally.

So...I find myself in personal uncharted territory. I can't seem to go out with anyone. It's been 5 weeks and a day & I can't accept a date. Is it possible to be bored on a date before you've even been on it?

A couple of guys that have asked me out recently seemed promising. But, I found myself predicting what they would wear, where we would go, what they would say; and then I just wanted to order Dessert right after the Appetizer & get the fuck out of there because I was SO bored. What, pray tell, does that mean?

I know what it means & it makes me a High-Maintenance Bitch.

_________________

I've always dated men that knew maybe, 80% of what to do on a date. Of course, after a couple months & you've become exclusive; even that seems to go out the window. I was totally spoiled by this last guy. Even though he had some really bad issues (Liar, Cheater, what have you) he knew how to treat a woman. The year that we saw each other; he treated me like a princess. He never failed to open a door, order a meal, lay his freakin' coat across broken glass on a sidewalk. Jesus! I was SO snowed!

I'm a sucker to a certain point because I'm use to being treated a certain way. My father is a true Southern Gentleman. Growing up, he always opened the door for me. He always walked on the street-side when we would walk on the sidewalk. He came around to open the car door. Those are the things I am use to.

(My NY ex asked me one time, "Do you realize that every time we walk up to a door; you always step back & wait for me to open the door for you? What's that all about?" I didn't realize at the time that I did that; but Hey! That's the way I was raised! Show a little respect!)

________________________

Bottom Line: I've been stung, I think. By an asshole; which makes it even worse.
I don't want to be one of those people that are afraid to get involved again. Seriously. I'm the bad-ass bitch that will kick you out of my bar FOREVER if you're not nice. I'll spray you with my soda gun & laugh when your linen shirt gets wet.

And I can be a complete Angel. Until someone spoils me.

peace

Comments:
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i know how you feel. just seems that love is gone and its not coming back.

and even though u realize you cant go back... its not like anything else does it for you. so you're just... stuck in the mud.
 
Oh Honey, puh-fuckin-lease! Don't let ANY man get to you like that!

Look, it's isn't "spoiled" when a woman demands to be treated like a princess. It doesn't make you a "bitch" because you wait for a man to open a door and it certainly isn't ridiculous to demand the "good things" in life. As far as I'm concerned, it's my birthright!

Being born and bred a Texas girl, maybe it just comes natuarally. My husband is from california, so he just laughed everytime I said, yessir, honey, darlin', y'all... all of it, but since I managed to drag his ass back to Ft Worth, I guess he liked it, too.

Don't beat yourself up too badly. Get back out there, and do it right. (Meaning, sit back and let them all flock to you!)
 
Kristi said it all!! As a "wise old man" once said, "life is too short to dance with ugly guys". Being lied to and cheated on is NOT being treated like a princess!
Hang in there
C.... :-)
 
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