Monday, May 30, 2005

Hi. My name is Scarlett.

...And I'm only listening to half of what you're saying.

___

It's true. Besides being a Procrastinator; I am also a Scanner. I Scan when I read & I Scan when people are talking to me at work.

My idea of Scanning is when you cut out all the little words. Just read or listen to the big words to get the gist of what's going on. Anything over 3 letters. Sounds good, right? Not always. Sometimes those "and, if, but" 's make a lot of difference. But, I still can't break the habit. It's not something I do consciously.

I have been eating books as long as I can remember. I LOVE to read. And I think; in the interest of time; that I developed this habit of just scanning instead of reading every single word. This habit would eventually be patented by some woman whose name I cannot remember. It was deemed "Speed-Reading". If I had the time & really cared; I would look her name up.

I started young. "Green Eggs and Ham" was "Green Eggs Ham". Which to me meant that the Eggs were part of the Ham & not separate. Which changes the whole story. I think that's where my confusion about Life started.

Being a Bartender doesn't help. I have hundreds of conversations a week. A third of which are just wasted oxygen. I find more & more that I'm not really listening anymore. Tonight someone was telling me about a honey-flavored bourbon by Wild Turkey he had tried. I said, "Hmm. That sounds interesting. Who makes it?" He said, "Uhhh. Wild Turkey." All I originally heard was "Tried a honey-flavored bourbon". He thought I was an idiot. I didn't care. He had already paid.

I'm not proud I'm a Scanner; but sometimes it really does work for me. As far as the time factor is concerned. The whole story I heard at work the other day from a customer that lasted for about an hour worked out to: "Wife Neighbor Sex Caught Divorce". That's all I heard. Outside of hearing those 5 words; I used the other parts of that hour to multi-task. While nodding; of course. Other people need drinks; right? And I got the whole story. I think.

Fortunately, this bad trait hasn't slipped into my private life. As far as I know. Maybe I should call my friend Diana back and ask her if she said "slid up" or "slid off". Up & Off being 3 letters or less. Could be a big difference.

peace

Comments:
Hi Scarlett,
This made me laugh so hard. I must confess, I'm a scanner too. Great blog.
Nice to mee you,
Chris
 
im thirsty.

wet my whistle.
 
all I heard in that story was SEX....
 
Not only am I a scanner and add, when I am in a bar I can only hear part of the conversation due to hearing loss.

I have people trying to talk to me, so I ask them to speak up, and they still don't get it.

Most people at a bar have boring stories, but I get to hear only half of them.

;->
 
I'm thrilled to find out that I am not the only scanner in the world! Love the blog.
 
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