Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Update.....
So, referring to my last post when I talked about how we were going to try to remain friends. Not gonna happen. I was talking to a good friend of mine Sat. night who happens to be a cop. I was telling him how everything went down, that it was sad for me; but I was looking at it as an "experience" and moving on. I told him that how about 3 months ago I was suspicious that the guy wasn't being completely upfront with me about the status of this other "relationship"; but after asking him some questions, I felt satisfied that he was being truthful. Because I trusted him. My friend says, "All I need is his name and DOB & I can tell you in five minutes". Five minutes later, I know that he changed his address 3 months ago. How's that for intuition? He's living with her. And has been presenting it to me as "There are issues we need to work out before we could get back together." And ya know how sometimes you get one little piece of information & it makes everything just come together in your head? I pride myself on being a pretty good judge of character; but I completely missed the mark on this one.
It was pretty funny in a very sad way to hear him try to back-peddle, double-talk, & contradict himself when we finally talked today. It was mostly "you said, I said" stuff. Don't you just hate it when someone tells you they ABSOLUTELY didn't say something you know they said? Some things are just burned into your head because it's that important to you to make sure you understood it at the time. (Some things I had even written about as soon as they were said.) And then when they know you're right; they start trying to split hairs. For example, "You're wrong! You asked me if I was riding a bike, and I said NO! That's true, because I had stopped riding to answer your call." You get what I'm saying.
There were the half-truths I had gotten when asking a direct question which are just lies by omission. One contradiction was three-fold (German judge gives him a 9.7 for difficulty). In the space of ten minutes, he was: soon to move, moved last week, in the process of moving. It was kinda hard to keep up; but I was truly amazed at how he wasn't listening to himself talk.
I wasn't crazy surprised when he ended things with me last week; because I knew it was going to have to happen. He was only working in the area for a certain period of time. I knew there was someone where he actually lives that he was more than likely going to get back together with. My whole problem with this is that he didn't tell me when they got back together. You would think that as honest as he was by telling me of that possibility; that he would have told me when it happened. There was a short period that I thought I WAS the "other woman", but was assured I wasn't. (Actually, that was only defined by him telling me he wasn't sleeping with her. So I believed him & assumed they had not gotten back together. Turns out that wasn't true.)
What I'm trying to say is; the reason I am so upset is not that we're not going to be seeing each other anymore. I was sad about that; but was confident that we would be able to continue a friendship because getting along well was never a problem. We had an awesome time whenever we were together & could talk, laugh...it was pretty amazing. After the first month; I couldn't believe my good luck at finding someone so perfect for me. During the second when he gave me heads up about the other person; I put all those feelings in check & just decided I would enjoy the time while it lasted. Which in my mind; was until he told me they were definitely getting back together. He never told me that. And THAT is the reason I am so upset. Three days ago, I was fine with working on remaining friends until I got this new piece of information. Now I know that for the last who know's how many months; he's just enjoyed having a warm bed in two different cities. If he had been honest with me when they got back together, I would have bowed out. He knows that....it would have been hard; but I would have done it. I'm no good at (and don't believe in) sharing. OMG...I feel so sorry for her. I truly do. I'm sure wherever his next project is; his next victim is. And she's keeping the home-fires burning. Now, THAT'S sad.
Out of anger, I told him (and I would never do this) that I was going to send her a letter. You wouldn't believe the flurry of text's after that. I did write a letter to her; but only for therapeutic reasons. I would never mail it. I believe that bad things you do eventually come back to bite you in the ass (karma & all that) so she'll find out how he is at some point.
Just in case you're dying to know; guess what he said to me when I asked him why he didn't tell me. "I'm not obligated to share information about my personal life with you." So when he told me he loved me; I guess he meant it in an "I love my car" kind of way. Unbelievable.
But I guess that I should clarify something. We had both agreed a month ago that we loved each other; but it was the kind of love you have for someone that you care very much for. Not to be confused with "being in love". And I don't know about you; but I tend to share things about my personal life (like where they can send me an X-mas card) with the people that I love.
Well, now I'm not as sad anymore about us not seeing each other. Now I'm just angry & my pride is hurt for being so stupid. Ok, maybe I'm still a little sad.
BUT! I started training at my new job tonight! It was really cool & I will talk about it tomorrow because I'm kind of emotionally wrung out right now. So, enough of this "how-that-guy-dissed-me-talk". Bigger & better stories to be told! New men to meet!!! Actually, it's pretty fucking exciting to be starting a new job. Being a bartender, anyway.
And I won this w'end. I'm 7-2! Tied for first!
peace
It was pretty funny in a very sad way to hear him try to back-peddle, double-talk, & contradict himself when we finally talked today. It was mostly "you said, I said" stuff. Don't you just hate it when someone tells you they ABSOLUTELY didn't say something you know they said? Some things are just burned into your head because it's that important to you to make sure you understood it at the time. (Some things I had even written about as soon as they were said.) And then when they know you're right; they start trying to split hairs. For example, "You're wrong! You asked me if I was riding a bike, and I said NO! That's true, because I had stopped riding to answer your call." You get what I'm saying.
There were the half-truths I had gotten when asking a direct question which are just lies by omission. One contradiction was three-fold (German judge gives him a 9.7 for difficulty). In the space of ten minutes, he was: soon to move, moved last week, in the process of moving. It was kinda hard to keep up; but I was truly amazed at how he wasn't listening to himself talk.
I wasn't crazy surprised when he ended things with me last week; because I knew it was going to have to happen. He was only working in the area for a certain period of time. I knew there was someone where he actually lives that he was more than likely going to get back together with. My whole problem with this is that he didn't tell me when they got back together. You would think that as honest as he was by telling me of that possibility; that he would have told me when it happened. There was a short period that I thought I WAS the "other woman", but was assured I wasn't. (Actually, that was only defined by him telling me he wasn't sleeping with her. So I believed him & assumed they had not gotten back together. Turns out that wasn't true.)
What I'm trying to say is; the reason I am so upset is not that we're not going to be seeing each other anymore. I was sad about that; but was confident that we would be able to continue a friendship because getting along well was never a problem. We had an awesome time whenever we were together & could talk, laugh...it was pretty amazing. After the first month; I couldn't believe my good luck at finding someone so perfect for me. During the second when he gave me heads up about the other person; I put all those feelings in check & just decided I would enjoy the time while it lasted. Which in my mind; was until he told me they were definitely getting back together. He never told me that. And THAT is the reason I am so upset. Three days ago, I was fine with working on remaining friends until I got this new piece of information. Now I know that for the last who know's how many months; he's just enjoyed having a warm bed in two different cities. If he had been honest with me when they got back together, I would have bowed out. He knows that....it would have been hard; but I would have done it. I'm no good at (and don't believe in) sharing. OMG...I feel so sorry for her. I truly do. I'm sure wherever his next project is; his next victim is. And she's keeping the home-fires burning. Now, THAT'S sad.
Out of anger, I told him (and I would never do this) that I was going to send her a letter. You wouldn't believe the flurry of text's after that. I did write a letter to her; but only for therapeutic reasons. I would never mail it. I believe that bad things you do eventually come back to bite you in the ass (karma & all that) so she'll find out how he is at some point.
Just in case you're dying to know; guess what he said to me when I asked him why he didn't tell me. "I'm not obligated to share information about my personal life with you." So when he told me he loved me; I guess he meant it in an "I love my car" kind of way. Unbelievable.
But I guess that I should clarify something. We had both agreed a month ago that we loved each other; but it was the kind of love you have for someone that you care very much for. Not to be confused with "being in love". And I don't know about you; but I tend to share things about my personal life (like where they can send me an X-mas card) with the people that I love.
Well, now I'm not as sad anymore about us not seeing each other. Now I'm just angry & my pride is hurt for being so stupid. Ok, maybe I'm still a little sad.
BUT! I started training at my new job tonight! It was really cool & I will talk about it tomorrow because I'm kind of emotionally wrung out right now. So, enough of this "how-that-guy-dissed-me-talk". Bigger & better stories to be told! New men to meet!!! Actually, it's pretty fucking exciting to be starting a new job. Being a bartender, anyway.
And I won this w'end. I'm 7-2! Tied for first!
peace
Comments:
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Losers like this usually suffer from Tiny Penis Syndrome, and have to have multiple partners to try to convince themselves they're real men. Their lies always catch up with the in the end though, and then they make total fools of themselves by attempting to cover up one lie with another. I pity the woman who ends up with this emotionally-challenged idiot. Glad you're moving on....you're much too good to get stuck with him.
# posted by 
: 3:44 AM
: 3:44 AM
We've already talked about what I think. I am glad you're done with him and will find someone that will give you the relationship you deserve. The guy is an a-hole and he'll get his. If you give me his picture and can make sure he goes to jail if he comes through Kentucky.
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