Thursday, October 07, 2004
Encounters I'm Completely Over With
AKA: Stupid People Suck
***Poor Scarlett: "Would you like to see a menu?"
Idiot: "Well, I'm meeting my wife's nephew who's visiting from North Dakota & I'm not sure if he's already eaten & I'm also thinking he may be a vegetarian which means we may not be eating here; but I'm not sure."
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) It's a simple yes/no question.
(saying) " So, would you like to see a menu?"
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***Idiot: "What do you have for beer?"
Poor Scarlett: "House, Lite, Sam Adams."
Idiot: "Just give me a Harp's."
Poor Scarlett: "We only have the beers I mentioned. House, Lite, Sam Adams."
Idiot: " Do you have Amstel?"
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Why Yes!! I do!! But, unfortunately; I save it for SPECIAL people. And I'm thinking you just don't qualify.
(saying) "No, we just have the beers that I mentioned. House, Lite, Sam
Adams."
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***Idiot: "Nurse, Nurse! I need another beer! I need my medicine."
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Oh My God
(saying) "I'll be with you in a few minutes. Just let me adjust my cap!" (fake laugh)
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****Idiot: "Can you make a martini? And don't lie to me."
Poor Scarlett: " I've been making them for over 20 years. People like my martinis. I'm a martini drinker myself."
Idiot: "This is what I want. Rail vodka with no vermouth shaken for 1.2 minutes in a glass that's been chilled for 43 seconds with 1.6 olives. And if it's not right; I'm sending it back!"
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Fuck you
(saying) "Fuck you!"
Ya know.....I'm so close to that point. Fortunately; I'm only cursed maybe 10% of the time with people that just don't listen; but it's enough for me after all these years to actually feel the hair go up on the back of my neck. And these are just a few examples of things that drive me crazy about being a bartender. Just had a weird night tonight. I have to just remind myself that 90% of the time; people are not stupid. But I'm really wishing the 10% would kinda space themselves out & not show up all in the same night. Hey! Maybe it's a club I don't know about. Maybe this is their meeting place once a month! Maybe I'm their President! Hmmmm. But if that were the case; you'd think they'd let me know so I could ask them about my Veto power. I could say, "Veto! Try again!" That would be cool.
Suffice it to say; I am in dire need of intelligent conversation right now. Since I met my 10% stupidity quota tonight; I am hoping for discussing the significance of Pi as opposed to how to get gum out of hamster hair tomorrow night. Please take note. Don't make me spray you with my soda gun.
peace
***Poor Scarlett: "Would you like to see a menu?"
Idiot: "Well, I'm meeting my wife's nephew who's visiting from North Dakota & I'm not sure if he's already eaten & I'm also thinking he may be a vegetarian which means we may not be eating here; but I'm not sure."
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) It's a simple yes/no question.
(saying) " So, would you like to see a menu?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***Idiot: "What do you have for beer?"
Poor Scarlett: "House, Lite, Sam Adams."
Idiot: "Just give me a Harp's."
Poor Scarlett: "We only have the beers I mentioned. House, Lite, Sam Adams."
Idiot: " Do you have Amstel?"
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Why Yes!! I do!! But, unfortunately; I save it for SPECIAL people. And I'm thinking you just don't qualify.
(saying) "No, we just have the beers that I mentioned. House, Lite, Sam
Adams."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***Idiot: "Nurse, Nurse! I need another beer! I need my medicine."
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Oh My God
(saying) "I'll be with you in a few minutes. Just let me adjust my cap!" (fake laugh)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
****Idiot: "Can you make a martini? And don't lie to me."
Poor Scarlett: " I've been making them for over 20 years. People like my martinis. I'm a martini drinker myself."
Idiot: "This is what I want. Rail vodka with no vermouth shaken for 1.2 minutes in a glass that's been chilled for 43 seconds with 1.6 olives. And if it's not right; I'm sending it back!"
Poor Scarlett: (thinking) Fuck you
(saying) "Fuck you!"
Ya know.....I'm so close to that point. Fortunately; I'm only cursed maybe 10% of the time with people that just don't listen; but it's enough for me after all these years to actually feel the hair go up on the back of my neck. And these are just a few examples of things that drive me crazy about being a bartender. Just had a weird night tonight. I have to just remind myself that 90% of the time; people are not stupid. But I'm really wishing the 10% would kinda space themselves out & not show up all in the same night. Hey! Maybe it's a club I don't know about. Maybe this is their meeting place once a month! Maybe I'm their President! Hmmmm. But if that were the case; you'd think they'd let me know so I could ask them about my Veto power. I could say, "Veto! Try again!" That would be cool.
Suffice it to say; I am in dire need of intelligent conversation right now. Since I met my 10% stupidity quota tonight; I am hoping for discussing the significance of Pi as opposed to how to get gum out of hamster hair tomorrow night. Please take note. Don't make me spray you with my soda gun.
peace
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LOL, I remember one idiot who gave you a hard time, and got his nose broken for his trouble. The guy last night obviously didn't know who he was dealing with. *****Mom
# posted by 
: 8:23 AM
: 8:23 AM 
My guess is that most of those folks aren't looking for answers or interested in answering questions. They're looking for attention, guidance or , just maybe, a good swift kick in the ass.
You have so many bottles at your disposal, you probably had a hard time figuring out which one to hit those people with.
Sorry babe
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Sorry babe
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