Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Yeah, you heard me!
....and I meant every word of it!
It's true. For the most part, I just "Grin-Fuck" people I am serving at my bar. My friend Maryanne (fellow bartender) coined this phrase about 7 years ago. Or maybe she just copied someone else, but kept the credit for herself. I just loved being able to connect a term with something I had been doing for years. In either case, it means that while you're saying something stupid to me, I'm just looking at you with a big smile while thinking, "Yeah, I'm smiling at you but I'm thinking 'Fuck You'". You have to do this, because you can't just be telling stupid people that they're stupid. The customer is not always right, but you have to pretend they are so you can make your rent & car payment.
Well, I totally lost my ability to "Grin-Fuck" the other night & just said exactly what was in my head. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I know I'm leaving end of the year for a better job where I can upgrade my "Grin-Fuck" level. Maybe the thrill is gone.
So, "Blue-Shirt-Guy" (BSG) walks up to my very crowded bar with 3 of his friends to meet yet 4 other friends. I politely ask them to move to another part of the bar because they are blocking the only way in & out of the room. This is something I have to ask people to do all night, every night, & 99% of people apologize & move. I quickly explained to them that the Fire Marshall's come through periodically through the night to make sure that we are doing what we're supposed to be. No Big Deal. BSG looks at me & says, "This is the WORSE service I've ever had in a restaurant. I guess business must be really good here that you can just chase customers away!"
Come on! It's not like I'm just arbitrarily pulling rules out of my ass. I didn't say, "Hey, guys with blue shirts can only stand over HERE." BSG says, "Well, we were looking to have dinner here, but now we're leaving & YOU have ruined our entire evening!" And I just lost it! "I'm sorry sir. Which part of the last 60 seconds that you have been at my bar would you say was the worse? I mean, I know which part I would say was the worse; but I'm just curious which part YOU think was the worse." I have NEVER intentionally been rude to a customer, & OMG! It felt so fucking good to be rude to this person! Right at this time, one of the managers comes over & asks them to please stop blocking the walkway. BSG calls him an asshole. His friends that were there before him that had a tab just throw money on the bar & they all leave. Thank God I counted the money before they got out the door, because they didn't leave enough to cover. I had to chase them to the lobby where I got to really embarrass them by loudly saying in front of the 30+ people waiting for a table that they hadn't left enough money for their bill.
Suffice it to say; no tip. But that's OK, because I made a bunch of money off of people that know how to act when they go out in public. And I treat them accordingly. That's why I make the money.
Dammmmmn....Sorry, very silly story; but it's just a little tiny example of what I have to put up with sometimes. Fortunately, the majority of the clientele here is wonderful. And I think it's funny that the very few times there is a meltdown; it's over something so stupid.
Ok, everyone say it with me! "I will be nice to my bartender since she's being so nice to me!"
Spread the Love....
It's true. For the most part, I just "Grin-Fuck" people I am serving at my bar. My friend Maryanne (fellow bartender) coined this phrase about 7 years ago. Or maybe she just copied someone else, but kept the credit for herself. I just loved being able to connect a term with something I had been doing for years. In either case, it means that while you're saying something stupid to me, I'm just looking at you with a big smile while thinking, "Yeah, I'm smiling at you but I'm thinking 'Fuck You'". You have to do this, because you can't just be telling stupid people that they're stupid. The customer is not always right, but you have to pretend they are so you can make your rent & car payment.
Well, I totally lost my ability to "Grin-Fuck" the other night & just said exactly what was in my head. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I know I'm leaving end of the year for a better job where I can upgrade my "Grin-Fuck" level. Maybe the thrill is gone.
So, "Blue-Shirt-Guy" (BSG) walks up to my very crowded bar with 3 of his friends to meet yet 4 other friends. I politely ask them to move to another part of the bar because they are blocking the only way in & out of the room. This is something I have to ask people to do all night, every night, & 99% of people apologize & move. I quickly explained to them that the Fire Marshall's come through periodically through the night to make sure that we are doing what we're supposed to be. No Big Deal. BSG looks at me & says, "This is the WORSE service I've ever had in a restaurant. I guess business must be really good here that you can just chase customers away!"
Come on! It's not like I'm just arbitrarily pulling rules out of my ass. I didn't say, "Hey, guys with blue shirts can only stand over HERE." BSG says, "Well, we were looking to have dinner here, but now we're leaving & YOU have ruined our entire evening!" And I just lost it! "I'm sorry sir. Which part of the last 60 seconds that you have been at my bar would you say was the worse? I mean, I know which part I would say was the worse; but I'm just curious which part YOU think was the worse." I have NEVER intentionally been rude to a customer, & OMG! It felt so fucking good to be rude to this person! Right at this time, one of the managers comes over & asks them to please stop blocking the walkway. BSG calls him an asshole. His friends that were there before him that had a tab just throw money on the bar & they all leave. Thank God I counted the money before they got out the door, because they didn't leave enough to cover. I had to chase them to the lobby where I got to really embarrass them by loudly saying in front of the 30+ people waiting for a table that they hadn't left enough money for their bill.
Suffice it to say; no tip. But that's OK, because I made a bunch of money off of people that know how to act when they go out in public. And I treat them accordingly. That's why I make the money.
Dammmmmn....Sorry, very silly story; but it's just a little tiny example of what I have to put up with sometimes. Fortunately, the majority of the clientele here is wonderful. And I think it's funny that the very few times there is a meltdown; it's over something so stupid.
Ok, everyone say it with me! "I will be nice to my bartender since she's being so nice to me!"
Spread the Love....
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Welcome to the town where every BSG is a pompous git bigshot law intern at Fluffer Fluffer and Fluffer, LLP.
Just because a guy is obviously impotent isn't any reason you should torment him, S.
I'm friends with all the bartenders that I know at all the bars I go to. It's handy. Oddly, I've met most of them in their civilian lives, but then, what do you expect from me? I still tip well. I know that my friends need the cash more than I do.
If you were tending back up north here, I'd happily move whenever I was blocking traffic, but, alas, you're way far away from me. No good at all.
I'm friends with all the bartenders that I know at all the bars I go to. It's handy. Oddly, I've met most of them in their civilian lives, but then, what do you expect from me? I still tip well. I know that my friends need the cash more than I do.
If you were tending back up north here, I'd happily move whenever I was blocking traffic, but, alas, you're way far away from me. No good at all.
wow, wasn't even thinking he was impotent. I just assumed he had a very small penis. But I guess that goes hand-in-hand. So to speak. Only place it will ever be!
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