The Life of a Southern Girl

...That's the ticket!

I decided last night to try a little experiment. I decided that: not only would I make direct eye contact, flirt, & not throw things at my solo male customers (most of which are traveling businessmen); I would wink at them every other time I spoke to them.

Example: (while making direct eye contact) "Enjoy your meal. Ill check back with you in a moment." (Wink followed by a moment of direct eye contact w/ a smile.)

OMG! Men in this area practically hand over their wallets for this little gesture. And I know what you're thinking!! You're thinking, "Of course they do! They think that you mean they may "get a-little-somethin'-extra" because the wink IMPLIED it."

That's the attitude that has kept me from winking this far north. I'm sorry, but, in the South; we wink all the time. "Here's a String Bean Casserole, Martha. I'm sorry about your husband (Wink)." "Little Johnny, you pitched a no-hitter! Good for you! (Wink)." Herein lies one of the differences between "The South" & "The Big City".

And I have to wonder: Do the women in the "oldest profession" up here know about this? Girls, do the math. I made a 25$ tip from one guy for winking at him. What's the going rate for a bj? 20$? (I'm just going on what I learned from an HBO special) My point, girls: Become a bartender! Wouldn't it be nice to have clean knees ALL THE TIME?

Well, maybe I tend to sugar-coat, but I'm always looking for ways to up my tips & teach a lesson at the same time! (Teaching a lesson makes me feel less guilty for the manipulation I use to up my tips!)


"Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the mornin' last, just
Kickin' down the cobblestones.
Lookin' for fun & feelin' groovy."
-Simon & Garfunkel