Sunday, June 20, 2004
And the Award for "Best Girlfriend Ever"....
does NOT go to G!
It seems that "German" girl left 15 minutes after we did. I told G that she could have REALLY taken the title if she had; not only told bf he could hook up if he wanted to, but had offered to stay as well! Oh Well!!! Attention Ladies!!!! The title is still up for grabs! (I'm hoping I don't have to say this; but I'm speaking from a male point-of-view. My idea of what it would be, anyway. But, then again, I'm somewhat jaded right now.)
Hey! I said I would get back on track Tuesday! That gives me a couple more days to just bullshit. And you're not the boss of me!! (are you???) Kinda hard to tell...
I do have something of substance I would like to address:
Gentlemen!! OK, you know you're going to a nice restaurant for dinner. I can see you looking through your closet for something nice to wear. Aha!! You see it! That nice white Polo shirt Mom gave you for X-mas last year coupled with the tried-but-true blue slacks should be just perfect! BUT NO! OMG! There's that white muscle shirt that you thought you lost during that last "Monster Car Reunion". And, damn, your biceps look HOT in that shirt! You should wear that!! Because, not only will the women be swooning over your biceps; they will be just HOT with desire over seeing your armpit hair hanging over your appetizer!!
Is this the thought process that a man has that winds up in a nice restaurant wearing one of these shirts?? It baffles me everytime. Does he look at himself in the mirror right before leaving his house thinking, "Damn, I look GOOD!"?
I guess it goes without saying that this is one of my pet peeves. (Again, I need to make a list. Fuck; so many lists to make; so little time.) I am from the school of thought that believes these shirts should be saved for the gym, beach, & Monster Car Reunions. Not for dinner out with your girlfriend/family/old friend/dog/or sitting at Scarlett's bar. Whatever the case may be. Take note, please! Otherwise you may find yourself on the receiving end of a "cement mixer"! For those not in-the-know, that's when the bartender offers you a shot of Bailey's & lime juice (separately) & tells you to just swish it around in your mouth. The Bailey's turns to something like cottage cheese & gets stuck all in your teeth. Hey, whatever it takes for us to get our kicks. I mean; you DID wear that shirt!! So you're fair game.
And I'll address the whole "Fanny Pack" thing another time.
Godspeed, all:)
"And you know I see right through you
Cause the world gets in your way
What's the point in all the screaming
You're not listening anyway."
- Goo Goo Dolls "Acoustic #3"
It seems that "German" girl left 15 minutes after we did. I told G that she could have REALLY taken the title if she had; not only told bf he could hook up if he wanted to, but had offered to stay as well! Oh Well!!! Attention Ladies!!!! The title is still up for grabs! (I'm hoping I don't have to say this; but I'm speaking from a male point-of-view. My idea of what it would be, anyway. But, then again, I'm somewhat jaded right now.)
Hey! I said I would get back on track Tuesday! That gives me a couple more days to just bullshit. And you're not the boss of me!! (are you???) Kinda hard to tell...
I do have something of substance I would like to address:
Gentlemen!! OK, you know you're going to a nice restaurant for dinner. I can see you looking through your closet for something nice to wear. Aha!! You see it! That nice white Polo shirt Mom gave you for X-mas last year coupled with the tried-but-true blue slacks should be just perfect! BUT NO! OMG! There's that white muscle shirt that you thought you lost during that last "Monster Car Reunion". And, damn, your biceps look HOT in that shirt! You should wear that!! Because, not only will the women be swooning over your biceps; they will be just HOT with desire over seeing your armpit hair hanging over your appetizer!!
Is this the thought process that a man has that winds up in a nice restaurant wearing one of these shirts?? It baffles me everytime. Does he look at himself in the mirror right before leaving his house thinking, "Damn, I look GOOD!"?
I guess it goes without saying that this is one of my pet peeves. (Again, I need to make a list. Fuck; so many lists to make; so little time.) I am from the school of thought that believes these shirts should be saved for the gym, beach, & Monster Car Reunions. Not for dinner out with your girlfriend/family/old friend/dog/or sitting at Scarlett's bar. Whatever the case may be. Take note, please! Otherwise you may find yourself on the receiving end of a "cement mixer"! For those not in-the-know, that's when the bartender offers you a shot of Bailey's & lime juice (separately) & tells you to just swish it around in your mouth. The Bailey's turns to something like cottage cheese & gets stuck all in your teeth. Hey, whatever it takes for us to get our kicks. I mean; you DID wear that shirt!! So you're fair game.
And I'll address the whole "Fanny Pack" thing another time.
Godspeed, all:)
"And you know I see right through you
Cause the world gets in your way
What's the point in all the screaming
You're not listening anyway."
- Goo Goo Dolls "Acoustic #3"
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See - here's where things get complicated.
Not that I use a fanny pack. But until the man-purse comes into vogue, what are we supposed to do with all of our electronic gadgets? Keep them in our pockets? iPod, camera, palm pilot and phone, not to mention wallet and keys and suddenly it looks like not only have we got a roll of quarters in our pocket, but we've also got something that makes our hip area look like chipmunk cheeks.
When are man-bags going to come in? The messenger bag fiasco is over, and briefcases hardly count. Perhaps we need to go back to having personal assistants to carry our things for us.
Not that I use a fanny pack. But until the man-purse comes into vogue, what are we supposed to do with all of our electronic gadgets? Keep them in our pockets? iPod, camera, palm pilot and phone, not to mention wallet and keys and suddenly it looks like not only have we got a roll of quarters in our pocket, but we've also got something that makes our hip area look like chipmunk cheeks.
When are man-bags going to come in? The messenger bag fiasco is over, and briefcases hardly count. Perhaps we need to go back to having personal assistants to carry our things for us.
Hey! I'm all for that! But then I would end up on the receiving end of a lawsuit 'cause my ad for a personal assistant would read "Women & Ugly Men Need Not Apply". (I don't think I could be an EOE.) Maybe you could represent me? :)
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